When You Need to Remember You Are Limited and You Are Good

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When You Need to Remember You are Limited and You are Good

Though the fig tree should not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines,
The produce of the olive fail
And the fields yield no food,
The flock be cut off from the fold
And there be no herd in their stalls
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
Habakkuk 3:17-18
 
The trees have not failed to blossom in this part of the world. Branches are heavy laden with fluffy pink and white spheres that I can’t stop taking pictures of. Flocks of new-born lambs continue to arrive in green pastures. The sun is warming the earth, just as it should. Tulips and daffodils have bloomed right on time.
 
It seems incongruous to me, all this new life flourishing in the midst of a season so underscored by death. Lighter evenings jar against the heaviness of the atmosphere. The scent of spring grass seems out of tune with the air hypervigilance. Light breezes strike a discordant note against the weight of the world bearing down on us. How can nature seem so misaligned with our grief?
 
In this season we have been marked by loss. We no longer have the freedom to go about our lives as we please. Our rhythms and routines of working, being with friends, going to church, seeing family, have been utterly turned upside down in the chaos of pandemic. Taking care of our basic needs now feels like an enormous task in logistics. The video calls, church online, zoom chats while good, are also a reminder of everything we can’t have – our loved ones so near to us on a screen and yet so far from us in person. We are overwhelmed and anxious. We are okay and not okay by the hour. We are exhausted yet we can’t sleep. We are bumping up against our limitations constantly.
 
Our cultural narrative, however, would like to tell us we're not really limited at all. It promises us that everything we want and need is available by our own efforts. If we only try harder, work longer, do more. If we only buy this product, or think more positively. If we would just learn to behave better or muster up more faith. If we could find the right words to pray or give enough money to the church – maybe then we’d get our miracle, maybe then we’d be enough.
 
But it turns out to be an empty promise. Sooner or later, we learn that we cannot provide for the life we want, however hard we try. A global pandemic is currently exposing this reality. We have limited agency and we are vulnerable. If we are honest, we live with these limitations all the time. We can’t cure ourselves from disease. We can’t change other people’s behaviour. Everyone we care about will one day die and we are powerless to stop it. We are no match against fire or flood, and we can’t make anyone love us.
 
But we can’t make the sun rise, either. We can’t guarantee we’ll wake up in the morning, although we always do. We can’t make plants grow or rain fall. We can’t make sure the earth keeps spinning on its axis at exactly the right distance from the sun. We can’t change the seasons, yet here is spring, showing up in a timely fashion, as it always does.
 
Perhaps this is what spring is showing us in this season. We are not in control of anything, the good or the bad. It is mystery and grace and unfairness and suffering and gift and plain old life all tangled up together.

Here is the truth. We are limited and vulnerable, but we are good.
 
God created us on purpose as people who live within the limits of our humanity. We live within our need for oxygen and water, rest and food, shelter and warmth. We live within the boundaries of our own skin, defining the limits of where we stop and someone else begins. We are bound by gravity to the earth, bound by the number of hours in each day. We are bound to our friends by our need for companionship and love.
 
We are also limited by our own emotional and physical capacity. We are constrained by the time and place we live, our family situation and the amount of money we earn. We are limited by our differing gifts and talents, the things we enjoy and succeed at. We are limited in our brokenness, our failure and our vulnerability.
 
Our limitations are not shameful or signs of weakness. They are what make us human. They are holy ground, the place where we discover that we need God and we need each other.
 
We are limited and we are good.
 
In the end, perhaps this is why the writer of Habakkuk can find joy, despite the crops failing and the animals disappearing. Despite the grief and the lack, despite the economic disaster and despair. Despite the uncertainty and the anxiety, the overwhelm and the frustration, the change and the loss. He knows that in our limitations God is good, and God calls us good too.
 

Reading Recommendations

Fire by Night: Finding God in the Pages of the Old Testament, by Melissa Florer-Bixler

This a thoughtful and thought-provoking look at some of the texts in the Old Testatment. Florer-Bixler invites us to examine some familiar stories and think about them in new ways. I particularly like the way she holds the bible up as a mirror to some of the injustices happening in contemporary society, asking us to consider afresh what it means to live as God's people. I couldn't read this book fast enough and have underlined most of it! 

Lila, by Marilynne Robinson

Florer-Bixler mentions that Robinson's novel is sometimes referred to as an extended exegesis of the book of Ezekiel. So while I've read this book before, I'm re-reading it with this fresh perspective. It's a captivating novel, exquisitely written and with all the insight, intuition and intelligence you would expect from Robinson. It's the perfect literary companion for lockdown.

Everything is Yours: How Giving Your Whole Heart Can Change Your Whole Life, by Kris Camealy

This book was a gift to me, in both the literal and metaphorical sense. Camealy writes with warmth and wisdom about the pathway of surrender that God invites us to take. Her vulnerability and honesty invite the reader to consider their own journey of surrender in light of Scripture and Camealy's own experiences. I'm honoured to be in a writing team with this author, and let me tell you, she is the real deal, and this season is a great time to dig into her book.

And finally...

Thank you so much for being here during these crazy times! I hope this email finds you safe and well and being kind to yourself.

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Holding space for our limitations and our goodness,
Abby

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